found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
