I heard we made out
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
