Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
