I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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