Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.

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(812): View more from Indiana

We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest

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(313): View more from Michigan

I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"

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(573): View more from Missouri

On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.

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(801): View more from Utah

Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.

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(989): View more from Michigan

I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?

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