I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
