Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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