I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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