Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
