You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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