just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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