i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
