Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.

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  (207): Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit. http://tfl.nu/u5bn
  Replies (5) Good night (725) Bad night (1332)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.

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  (914): Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex. http://tfl.nu/kgv4
  Replies (5) Good night (3016) Bad night (1334)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed

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  (314): Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed http://tfl.nu/ltzi
  Replies (33) Good night (942) Bad night (2789)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"

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  (631): Strippers tramp stamp says "mom" http://tfl.nu/an62
  Replies (21) Good night (879) Bad night (4498)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.

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  (513): Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well. http://tfl.nu/s9im
  Replies (5) Good night (2877) Bad night (855)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.

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  (541): No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night. http://tfl.nu/zfom
  Replies (6) Good night (2096) Bad night (1093)
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  (458): View more from Oregon

  Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.

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  (458): Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh. http://tfl.nu/m88d
  Replies (22) Good night (6100) Bad night (1726)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.

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  (210): I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be. http://tfl.nu/9s9m
  Replies (1) Good night (1698) Bad night (531)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?

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  (757): Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes? http://tfl.nu/b8rs
  Replies (40) Good night (1008) Bad night (2285)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.

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  (512): Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway. http://tfl.nu/39nz
  Replies (1) Good night (666) Bad night (568)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.

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  (773): Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you. http://tfl.nu/9snq
  Replies (11) Good night (683) Bad night (1123)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.

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  (202): I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas. http://tfl.nu/fady
  Replies (0) Good night (1116) Bad night (466)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.

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  (239): Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance. http://tfl.nu/mqe0
  Replies (10) Good night (952) Bad night (539)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.

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  (910): They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card. http://tfl.nu/0s8y
  Replies (7) Good night (1012) Bad night (511)
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  (61): View more from Australia

  I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.

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  (61): I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege. http://tfl.nu/9edb
  Replies (4) Good night (427) Bad night (323)

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