Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...