I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
