Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
