gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
