She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
