I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
