Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
