swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
