there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?