she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.