Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law