I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK