Babe...You're really smothering me right now
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.