mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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