God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize