Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
