I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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