i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
