so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
