Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
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Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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