If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
