Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
