i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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