I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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