just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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