OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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