it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
