You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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