hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
