I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
