I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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