after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
