Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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