Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
