Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I love you.
Bad choice
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize