Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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