She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
