You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
