lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
