If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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