My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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