you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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