Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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