No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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