I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize
