guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
