I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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