Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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