so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
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