at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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