HIV tests are more positive than that guy
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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