Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
