in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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