I wanna bring you to show and tell
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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