i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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